ARE THOSE WORDS FLOATING IN MY TOILET?
(Thinking and pondering as I often do). Who decided that some words are sinful and bad? Why did someone decide that a specific group of words are called “cuss” words and we aren’t supposed to say them? I mean, aren’t all words just a form of communication? It's just words, right? They can't make me bleed or kill me. They don't cause disease or poverty.
So, if two different words mean the same thing, then why is one labeled bad, and the other is labeled as acceptable? Isn’t this a double standard at it’s finest? Why did my mom always tell me to say, “pass gas,” but I can’t say, “fart?” I think they are both funny, myself! And why can’t I burp? Why must I belch instead? Why? Did you just tell me to shut up? (Shock! Why I never!) My mom always told me to be quiet. Where did you learn your manners?
Anyway, why is ok for me to have a bowel movement and just a little worse if I go poop, but acceptable for me to poop if I’m under the age of two and am learning words, but it’s never acceptable for me to take a sh*t? Don’t all three of these things lead to the same matter in my toilet? BTW, never underestimate the power of a courtesy flush! Carol Ann, stick to the subject!
THE GARDEN
I’m just curious. Why must the whole human race pay for what Eve did in the garden? I want a chance at the garden. I want to walk around in bliss, peace and happiness all day with the birds chirping, the sun shining warm on my bare back, and the rainbow over yonder. I want to never worry about money. I want a plethora of food at my disposal. I want to live in harmony with the world and all it’s entities.
I want to eat unlimited fruit from the trees! I won’t get greedy and eat from that special tree, I promise! One tree? Seriously, that’s it? That’s all that’s off limits? I mean, now I get one car out of half a million created and I don’t feel bad at all that I’m confined to the one. I think I could handle that one tree being off limits.
And, snakes? Would I listen to a snake? Hell, no! Whoops, I mean, earth, no! (Dang, I can't even handle the cuss word thing and I seriously thing I can handle the entire sin thing?!? Who am I kidding?) Anyway, back to the snake, that devilish creature. I wouldn’t even get near one, let alone listen to him. Devil or ordinary snake. Doesn’t matter. I would run from snakes. I’m not interested in what they have to say. I have the voices in my head to keep me company! Who needs a snake?
I would be very happy meandering and daydreaming in the garden and appreciate the fact that I didn’t have to get in my gas guzzling, smog creating, ozone depleting, global warming car and drive 30 minutes to work in rush hour traffic stressed out before my day has even begun and spend 45 hours a week away from my family at a job I didn’t like, listening to people complain about their job they hate and answering the phone to customers complaining about the crappy service they received or the product they didn’t like or how it was too expensive….
Oh yeah, that’s my old life. Now, I work from home at a job I love! I’m already in the garden! Where was I? EVE!!! I think “Eve” should be added to the cuss word dictionary. I’m tired of paying for HER sins! No honey, you shouldn’t say “Eve”. That’s a bad word and it might offend other people!
THE END IS NEAR!!! Shuuuut up!
Did someone say this was short takes? Oh, yeah, that was Carol Ann. That girl never know when to shut up!!! Oops, I mean, “be quiet!”
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