Grow Up!

As adults, we are often told to "act our age", "grow up", "quit being so immature". Why? Why do we have to? Why is it ok to be "young at heart"? "Young in spirit"? Why is innocence only associated with children? Does wisdom only come with age? Why, mom, why? I have lots of questions. And yes, there really are stupid questions but I'm ok with being the one to ask them!

It's ironic really. We spend most of our childhood wanting to be older. Wanting to be more independent. Wanting to learn. Wanting to grow up. Get a job. Make money. Be in control. Hold our own power. Then, we grow up! We think to ourselves, whoooo hooo! I made it! I'm in control now! I'm not going to be anything like my parents! I'm going to make lots of money, have a great job I love, accomplish all my goals, and be happy! This feeling is great! It lasts about 5 minutes.

So... As adults, we get a job, get married, strive for all our goals. We support ourselves (or try to at least). Then we realize it's a lot of work! It's not the lush green grass we thought it was when we were on the outside looking in. Power? Control? Ummm, yeah, sure... You can have all the power over yourself you want. Of course! Its a free country, right? So, do what you want when you want... After you pay taxes. After you punch a clock every day. After you obey all the laws set forth by the country, state, county, and city you live in. Sure! After that, you are free to spend those few hours a night doing whatever you want to!

I think this why, as we grow much older, we revert back to acting like children. No one will judge you. She is old! They will say. She is senile, cranky, forgetful. We have all kinds of labels to explain away old people's bad behavior.

At that point, we let someone else take care of us again. Old people are the only ones who really get it! Being in charge often isn't everything its cracked up to be. Sometimes it's nice to have someone else make you a meal, pay your bills, drive you around... bathe you. Yeah, I know what you're thinking! Hmmmmmm, maybe I want to have that too! I mean just cause I CAN do something doesn't mean I always WANT to!

Personally, I've loved growing older and wouldn't go back to my childhood for anything. But don't, just cause I'm an adult, don't think for a second that if I want to ACT like a child I won't! I'm already figuring it out. This power thing, being in control thing, working my butt off thing...well it's not the end all catch all. I want to laugh more. I want to play more. I want someone to drive me around. I want someone to scratch my back, bathe me.... Hmmmmmm.

I want to be silly. I think it's funny when someone in the room farts and I want to laugh at it rather than remain composed because that's what I'm "supposed" to do. I want to act ridiculous at times and not apologize for it. I want to say the first thing that comes to mind no matter that it doesn't make sense to you. If someone hurts my feelings big time, I want to be able to cry about it and not be told to "suck it up!" I want to be tucked in at night. Sleep with my Teddy. Have my problems fixed. Now! I want my mommy!!! Stomp. Stomp. Door slamming. Me leaving the room. It's time to pout. Come get me in 5 minutes cause I will be over it by then! Then, we can play!