I love songs… music… lyrics. Mostly I love lyrics. I frequently wake up with music playing in my mind and I wonder where that song came from. It’s often a song I don’t even remember hearing before and I must have been dreaming about it.
So, I wake up, crawl out of bed at nine o’clock on a Saturday and shuffle in… to the kitchen…and get my tonic and gin. Every morning just before breakfast I don't want no coffee or tea. I drink alone. You know when I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself. Did I say I was having tonic and gin? Whoops, what I meant was coffee. I wouldn’t be drinking yet ‘cuz John is there. And I prefer to drink alone. Oh yeah, I already said that.
I start the day by singing off key. Often, I’m not really sure how the melody goes. Sometimes it’s sad and sometimes it’s sweet. One thing is for sure… I knew it complete when I wore a younger girls clothes!
Poor John! No, not John at the bar that’s a friend of mine. That John gets me my drinks for free and he’s quick with a joke. He will also light your smoke, but I don’t smoke. I’m talking about MY John… JG, the Bombshell artist. You know? That guy in my life J Well, anyway, poor John, he has to listen to me sing off key. La la la, di da da. La la, di di da da dum. Yup, John has to hear it all. He often says, “Carol I think you forget about real life for a while. Man, what ARE you doing here?”
If I don’t know the lyrics, I make them up. Whatever I feel like saying, or whatever rhymes, or whatever other crazy words that pop into my head. And there are lots of them. I have more words floating around in my head than I have acquaintances in life.
Sure, this probably is entertaining for John, if not annoying, but mostly it’s for me. I love to entertain myself. If I’m not going to, then who is? I mean, it isn’t John’s job to entertain me. I feel a certain responsibility to take care of that myself. I’m not against pleasing myself, that’s for sure!
I once had a boyfriend tell me he could drop me off in the middle of a field by myself for a day and he was sure I would have fun and find plenty to do and talk about. I’m sure he was right. Once there, I would look over yonder and see the sun arisin. Here comes the sun. And I would say, it’s all right. I can handle this! The ice is slowly melting. A new day is comin! I would run around as fast as I can. And then I would look around and say, “I think I’m alone now. There doesn’t seem to be anyone around. The beating of my heart is the only sound.” But, I’m not speaking to anyone other than myself, cause I am, after all, alone. Did I say alone? Who I am kidding? I always have an audience and that’s ME! I listen to that voice in my head often and sometimes I talk back! So… back to what my old BF said about me and the field… I still don’t know… is this an insult or a complement?
So, I listen to voices in my head. Echoes of things that you said. Does that make me insane? Possibly. But you have to admit. I do have a certain style and spunk that makes you like me anyway! I have that Boom Boom Pow. I’m so 3008. You tryin to copy my swagger? Don’t do it! You can’t handle it! It may seem like something you want, but you can’t always get what you want. Keep trying. If you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need. And, getting what you need is often much better than getting what you want.
Am I crazy? Yes, probably. But don’t call me crazy! I did go crazy. That was back in ‘92 when I partied like it was 1999. Some friends of mine said, “Let’s go crazy!” So, we did. Like I said, don’t call me crazy. Some call me Space Cowboy and that’s ok, and others call me the Gangster of Love. A few of my friends call me Maurice, ‘cuz I speak of… well… that’s a long story, so don’t ask. I’d just prefer you call me Carol Ann. It’s much simpler that way. And, after all, it’s really who am I. What I want to know is, who are you? Who, who, who? Sorry, didn’t mean to repeat myself. I stretched back and I hiccupped. So, appreciate who you are. Don’t worry about what people call you. There isn’t much in a name. After all, a rose is still a rose. By any other name it would still smell as sweet. And, a boy named Sue is still a boy. So don’t let your name define you. Let’s all just come together. Peace, it’s the answer. Unless you’d like to give love a try?
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